Why Perimenopause Is a Spiritual Journey And What to Do to Use it as a Doorway to a New Dimension within Yourself
Maybe you just know that something has shifted. You do not feel like yourself. You are more anxious than you used to be, more tired, more emotional, more sensitive — and you cannot quite explain why. Perhaps you went to your doctor and were told everything looks fine, or that you are too young, or that you just need to manage your stress better. Perhaps you were handed antidepressants and sent home. Or maybe you do know you are in perimenopause — you have the name for it, you have read about the hormones — but you still feel lost, because knowing the word does not tell you what to actually do with what you are going through. Wherever you are in this — whether you are just beginning to sense that something is changing, whether you have been dismissed and are still searching for answers, or whether you are knee-deep in it and wondering when it gets easier — this blog is for you. Because there is something about perimenopause that almost nobody talks about. And I think it might change everything for you.
Perimenopause Is More Than Hormones
Here is what I have come to understand — both from my own experience of perimenopause and from working with women for over 25 years. This is not just a hormonal event. It is a profound invitation to come home to yourself. The restlessness you feel? It is real. The sense that your old life no longer fits? That is real too. The feeling that something in you is changing at a level you cannot quite name or explain? That is not you falling apart. That is you beginning to transform. And whether you are in the very early stages of noticing these shifts, or you have been living with them for years, that transformation is happening in you right now.
A Different Way of Seeing Perimenopause
Every woman I work with who is in perimenopause — whether she came to me knowing exactly what was happening hormonally, or whether she simply arrived feeling broken and exhausted and not knowing why — comes to me feeling like something has gone wrong. And I understand that completely, because I felt the same way.
But what if nothing has gone wrong?
What if perimenopause is actually a threshold? A transition, not just physically and hormonally, but spiritually — into the most powerful, wise, and fully expressed version of yourself?
What if the very symptoms that feel like they are working against you are actually your body and your soul asking you to stop living on the surface of your life, and to go deeper?
I have been on this journey myself for many years now. I have experienced the symptoms, the confusion, the grief of feeling like I had lost myself. And I have also experienced what is waiting on the other side of that — a clarity, a confidence, and a connection to myself that I simply did not have in my 30s.
Perimenopause — a time for spiritual awakening
What happened to me was not standard. The way my soul wanted to give me a glimpse of what is possible during the perimenopasual transformation came in a rather unusual and unexpected way. The level of connection I now have to my body, my soul and my sense of pleasure and freedom is great, and I am immensely grateful for this experience. But the price I paid for it was very high: divorce, leaving a steady and successful career, relocation to another country and losing many friends and colleagues once I finally started expressing my needs and opinions freely and unapologetically.
The bottom line is that, just like you, I also had a moment when I realised I wasn’t really living my own life, but rather fulfilling expectations of others, complying with societal roles and people-pleasing like a “good girl”, “good wife”, “good daughter”.
This realisation came crashing in through the experiences I had on a professional training retreat for clinicians wanting to offer psychedelic-assisted therapy to their patients. The insights came during a psilocybin-induced journey I had alongside other clinical psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists and doctors in Holland. The things I understood — the perspective the medicine showed me — was so far removed from the reality of my life at the time, that I became deeply depressed for 3 days after, crushed under the weight of changes I needed to make in order to live such a life.
In short, during that psychedelic journey, I got to taste the level of pleasure and connection my body was capable of experiencing, that I did not know was physiologically possible to have, but having it depended on me turning my whole life totally upside down — and this perspective scared me at the time (but this is for another blog post).
Why Perimenopause Matters — Whatever Stage You Are At
Here are the 3 types of situations I see again and again in my work.
The woman who does not yet know she is in perimenopause is often told she is anxious, depressed, or burnt out. She is given medication for her mood when what her body actually needs is hormonal support — and a completely different conversation about what is happening to her and how she can grow through this.
The woman who has been dismissed by her doctor (told she is too young, or that her bloods are normal, or told to come back in a year) is left to navigate one of the most significant transitions of her life completely alone, without even having it acknowledged.
And the woman who does know she is in perimenopause, but is only approaching it medically (managing the symptoms, adjusting her HRT, tracking her cycles) is often still missing the deeper layer. The layer that explains why she feels so restless. Why her relationships feel different. Why the things that used to matter no longer do. Why she feels, underneath it all, like she is being called somewhere new.
All three of these women are going through the same thing. And none of them has been told: this is normal, this is meaningful, and not only you are not broken, you are evolving!
Perimenopause, (when we understand it this way), becomes something we can work with rather than fight against. It becomes a period of self-discovery, of shedding what no longer serves us, of developing a relationship with our intuition, our body, and our inner wisdom that many of us have never had before.
You Are Not Falling Apart. You Are Being Rebuilt.
If you are reading this and you are struggling — whether you have a name for what you are going through or not — please hear this: You are not falling apart. You are being rebuilt. You are evolving.
And the practices and tools that can support you through this transition go far beyond what a standard medical appointment can offer. They work with the whole of you — your body, your mind, your emotions, and your spirit.
A Few Simple Things You Can Start Doing Today if You Like the Idea of Perimenopause as a Doorway to Deeper Connection to Yourself
I want to leave you with something practical — because I know how overwhelming it can feel to read about potential “transformation” when you are just trying to get through the day. Here are a few gentle spiritual practices I personally come back to, and share with my clients. None of them require special equipment, training, or a big block of time.
- Check in with your body a few times a day. Not to fix anything — just to notice. I call them “check ins”, they come from mindfulness (I have been teaching and practicing mindfulness for 21 years now so working with me you won’t avoid it). A “check-in” is a modified version of so-called 3-min breathing space, but it takes just a few seconds. Place a hand on your chest and ask yourself: what am I actually feeling right now? Not thinking. Feeling. This sounds simple, and it is simple. But the hardest thing is to remember to do it. Most of us go entire days without doing it. So set up your phone alarm 3-10 random times in a day and do this practice whenever the alarm rings. Your body holds so much wisdom. During perimenopause this wisdom comes to the surface of your awareness and starts pouring out — learning to listen to it is one of the most powerful things you can practice in perimenopause.
- Let yourself move freely for 5 minutes. This is not exercise. And it is not about dancing. Although it may feel and look like both. It is simply a way of coming back to yourself. Put on a song you love — or sit in silence — and just let your body do whatever it wants. Sway. Stretch. Roll your shoulders. Bend. Fold. Extend your arms. Follow where the movement wants to go without judging it or performing it. When discomfort or emotion comes up during movement, stay with it gently. That is not a problem — that is the practice actually working. The body has its memory. Moving our bodies helps the energy flow inside. Ayurvedic approaches (which I’m a great fan of) say that “your issues are in your tissues”. Movement is the medicine for the body, not just in literal, physical and physiological sense. The energy that is accumulated (or even stuck) in parts of your body, can only be released and/ or expressed through movement. This simple 5 min practice is a great start. With time you can extend it for as long as you feel fits or even consider trying intuitive conscious movement practices like Ecstatic Dance.
- Write without editing yourself. Try to pour out the contents of your mind on a piece of paper. This can lead to unexpected insights and conclusions. It can prompt further reflections and inspire different actions. Or it can simply release the pressure and emotional build up onto the paper. Take 5 minutes in the morning or evening and write whatever is coming up for you — without censoring, correcting, or making it make sense. This is not journalling for an audience. It is a private conversation with your own inner self. An older, wiser version of you, that lives inside and has been quietly guiding you all your life. You will often be surprised by what comes out when you stop trying to manage how you appear even to yourself. If you are interested in taking things to another level after some time, check out Soul Body Fusion practice.
- Spend time in natural light every day. Research suggests that our bodies have a natural rhythm deeply connected to light — and modern life, with screens and artificial lighting, disrupts this more than we realise. Even 10 minutes outside in the morning, without your phone, can shift something. This will help you tune in to Nature’s rhythm. And her rhythm is your natural rhythm. Being outside just for 10min (even in the same spot, on the same walk round the block) will help you notice the change. We tend to live at such a high speed that we lose the ability to spot small differences. In psychology it is called change blindness. Because our brain is constantly overstimulated it learns to process information selectively, focusing only on what it deems important or relevant. And when you have millions of things to remember and deal with as a woman, mother, partner, employee.. you most often miss what’s happening in nature, and similarly you miss the subtle changes occurring in your own body and psyche. So this 10min outside practice can help to reverse that inner and outer change blindness. Besides the fact it will also contribute to anchoring your circadian rhythm and regulating sleep cycle, …and good sleep equals balanced hormones.
- Notice what you are tolerating. Perimenopause has a way of making things that we used to put up with suddenly feel unbearable — and that is not you becoming difficult. That is your body and soul telling you the truth. Instead of pushing through that discomfort, get curious about it. What is it asking you to change? What is it asking you to let go of? Get into a habit of noticing all your triggers, all the “iks”, and the little annoyances. They are the messages from your subconscious mind, or if you like, the whispers from your soul about what is right and what isn’t for you. Stop, listen and consider what would happen if you did said “No” to this friend or that thing.. This is the real you (beyond all the masks and roles) trying to emerge. At least be curious about it.
These are small beginnings. But they are real ones. And in my experience, it is often the smallest, most consistent practices that open the biggest doors.
In the upcoming blogs I will be sharing some deeper practices with you (Raising Your Level of Consciousness, Ecstatic Dance, Soul Body Fusion) — all the ones that have genuinely changed my life and the lives of the women I work with.
Because perimenopause is not the end of something. It is the beginning of the most fully yourself you have ever been.
Want to Explore This Further?
If something in this blog resonated with you, I would love to hear from you. Whether you are just beginning to make sense of your perimenopause experience or you have been navigating it for a while, you do not have to do this alone.
Visit inherbody.co.uk to find out more, or reach out to me directly — I would love to connect.
